Mirrors for now and then(Scribbled)

I'll taste everything cause i'll make it my last time around.

I have made that choice and moved on with good memories.

I dont like most women i know but i respect them all.

My optimism suffocates me sometimes.

I have never done drugs but many people assume i do.

If you like or dislike me, the chances are that you don't know me well.

I have never cared too much about money.But i want some!

The most difficult thing to do is to stop judging people.

I had dropped down to the 2nd position in my Class 6 semesters and cried hysterically.I failed in my Class 10 Mathematics paper.Could'nt stop laughing.

Prepared 50 marks for the suppementary in a month's time.Attempted 48.Got 48.Laughed again!

I miss my childhood passion for all the things at all times.

Music has had too much influence on me.

I have stopped drinking now.Atleast everyday.

I"d rather be busy with myself than for myself.

The strangest compliment that i've ever received is" you are out of form but not out of class".

My jokes have been taken way too seriously.

Innocence gives me a better high than a cognac.

Children are a much happier lot.

I would have never dropped out if i went a music school.

I know i have been spoilt a lot.But im not yet done.

The one thing i have most longed for sub-consciously is the 'guitar'.

My biggest challenge is to become a simpler man with simpler needs.

Most love stories are disturbing these days.

I am sorry, i dont like apologies!

My story is identical to your's but in a different way.

I have had my most private moments with people around me.

This whole big world is such a small place.

I have been happy & sad but only in my head.

I've mostly been fake when i tried to be real.

I made that point & missed it myself.

Every woman is a song.

I'm as serious as im not.

The worst thing that people say is that they don't have time or didnt have it!!

A wise drunkard over an ignorant teetotaller.

Time is the greatest healer and the greatest killer!!

Im always the first one to know if i'm wrong.

I don't have an issue with anybody.It could only be a psychological gap.

Success & Failure are the most debatable words.

Sacrifice & Complains are bipolar words that are often used simultaneously.

The best conversations are never spoken.

Nobody has ever won a blame-game.

God must be a bored man.I often seek him with my problems rather than myself.

Anyway 'problem' is just an overrated and outdated word.

I work hard on not working at all.

If you've nver been confused, you've probably never known a woman!

My biggest achievemnt has to be my stupidity.I mean i can be a part of it and even enjoy it as a spectator!

I like it here but i'm not coming back.

Excuse me.This is supposed to be personal.

This is gonna go on!!

The kings!

Almost.Always.All.Alone.

Everyone is just my clone

Hurt myself, i think i'm cool

Everyone is just a fool

Live that life and think its good

Be forever, Demons should

The darkest nights are always moonly

You are so Lonely, You have been lonely

There are no heights we have to scale

Our rotten ways, we are so stale

The funny jokes you had to crack

We only laugh behind our backs

Almost.Always.All.Alone.

Everyone's whoring and think unknown

The truth is that, we are the lie

We are the hell, why should we die

What is the aim, what is the purpose

You get it all & become so worthless

We cannot see, we are so blind

The useless heart, that reckless mind

We are so naked, the black is stark

Our lovely days, they are still dark

Now you repent, why do you cry

Our little kids, we let them die

We talk of love, we are so stupid

We killed the angels and skinned the cupid

Almost.Always.All.Alone.

The children should have never grown

Is this why He sold the world

We make it stink, a pool of mud

And if you think you're the lotus

You are so screwed, don't lose your focus

Almost.Always.All.Alone.

We are the kings without the throne!

Ayesha (the girl the friend)

Ayesha, a girl, a woman, she is still a child
A shy little kitten and yet so wild
She is the one closest, she thinks she is at bay
I smile at god & life when i see her at play
A saggitarius, no, i think she's a capricorn
She is the only Rose, the one without a thorn
She picked me up again, so deep i had fallen
The one to find hope ,when everything was stolen
I don't yet, i know i won't, know what i feel for you
Is it a thing i did before, is it something new?
It is platonic but i can say that i do love you
She is the one, the only one who rightly fits my shoe
Cherry lips & sugar dipped, she is a chocolate cake
A requeim, a beautiful dream, the one, when i am awake
I spoke to her & now the sun, has quickly dropped away
She has become the brightest sky, why is it turning grey
So you think you aren't loved, but that's another case
We all do it, we do it all, its just another phase
I touch her picture inside of me, i do taste her smile
The scent of comfort,that she is, let me wear you for a while
My toxic drink at all my nights, mornings she is the hangover
She does pretend she doesn't know but its too far from over
It must be me & my mistakes, i wish to say 'sorry'
A fairytale you have become, a part of my story
To be the friends lets do again, have another fight
And for you i may be wrong but for me you are right
She is alone and now she wants to take a lonely leave
But i need her, i always will, will she ever believe
Will you in time, My Ayesha, let me borrow your pain
There are many you took away, they should'nt be in vain

Mate!

Here's one for my mate, he's the only one
Don't yet smear, friend, you'll be a mother's son
You have been pushing yourself, i know how hard you try
Yours tears will be answered, the one's you never cry
When we had first met we had talked in signs
Through the darkest clouds, you will always shine
Don't worry my mate, you're better than just good
If no one else testifies, be sure that i would
Today, tomorrow, forever, we need to be together
I have been in debt for long, i'll pay in bad weather
I know you're a victim, but know you're the gun
Your will be done sometime now, you're your mother's son
Don't trust me yet mate but someday you will find
To live the old glories, we'll put future in rewind
The next time when we sit for that music
You get high on smoke, i'll do my old tonic
You've swallowed the ego & taken such insults
I see it coming brother, we'll be our own cult
You have a heart of gold & that's the only crime
You should take vengeance, for me too, in time
And mate just know now, someday you have to learn
The pains that u've had, you have never had to earn
Don't show the wounds to me but dont hide the fears
On its way to you, that life is almost near
And mate they make you reckless, but dont deviate
The treasure thats waiting, you will have to create
Like a wounded warrior, you will become the great
The world may be unwilling, but fight your own fate
My friend, my mate, like there has been none
You'll succeed, you'll be your Mother's son!

Little Marie

She's kept me locked cause she is so free

My friend, my conscience, she is so me

When she had smiled the angels sang

You & I, our biggest gang

A precious pearl , the sun-burnt gold

She has it all, has she been told?

You must be lonely, you're away my girl

But keep it frozen, my chocolate-swirl

And you had said ,you wish to hold me tight

On those dark days, you made me bright

I breathe your humour and i kiss your laughter

You're me, within me, forever & after.

A mirror for hearts can reflect such beauty

I know why you've come, on god's duty

I'd lost too many, don't know what it was

But He gave me you, He made up for the loss

You may be far away, we are now times apart

From my heart & mind, your thoughts never depart

Your innocence is contagious, i wish it was mine

Should have been found before, a little early in time

A messenger, a guide, a thought can make me fine

Whatever you're whenever, it always felt divine

She freed us from the cage, she once saved me from me

You have to keep her safe, she is just being she

Don't lie now, just tell me, my little Marie

Are you one of us, are u a fairy??

p.s :-i met this girl not long ago..i should have had!

From 'a' Son to 'the' father!

Oh father, forgive me, i am so consumed

Please don't label me, i am often assumed

Oh father, come on, give me all you pains

I am your own blood, it flows through my veins

I'd like to be detached, i like to get high

In this sea of conflicts, forever left dry

Oh father, believe me, don't get me wrong

I have been weakened but still going strong

I had almost died & you came back from death

I only lived for years, finally found my breath

What you've given me father, i can't repay

If god's hearing this one, he shall show me the way.

Oh father, forgive me, i'm still getting consumed

Find me guilty of the sins, now that i'm accused

You gave me all, more than i had wanted

I am so angry, i took you for granted

Oh father,trust me, god must be like you

A thought not new, a thing i always knew

I drank it all, i was so thirsty

The gold, this faith, would never get rusty

Oh father, i love you, i dont pretend

Its just the beginning its not my end

And father, i promise, on love i swear

The clothes you wanted, i'd someday wear

Oh father, you know, you've always been selfless

I deserve to cry, for being so careless

How do i tell you father, what you always believed

From all the curses, i'd get you relieved

Today my father, tonight i can see

You were my best friend, you would always be

Oh father punish me, i am to be blamed

Everything i am, i am so ashamed

To me, my father, like you never said no

I'd live once again & i want you to know

Forever father, i might be consumed

But what you had started will now be resumed.

Its always okie

Its okie to have feelings
Its okie to gaze at the ceiling
The world still goes round
What's been lost was never found
Its okie to have feelings
The past keeps always reeling.
Sorry, i am, i keep blaming you
We were never one , were always two
I'll live by what, you've got me shown,
I make that promise, a vow unto my own
Its okie to have feelings
A nightmare, what i was dreaming
When you needed me i had thought
Twas a battle being fairly fought.
So distant, yet ,never so far
In my mind and always at war
I don't know if i was cheated & used,
Would you tell me if i was raped & abused.
What had lived was a far far-cry
I won't believe that you didnt try.
Its okie to have feelings
Its the scar now always bleeding.
I took you as a friend
I'll do that till the end
I'd built a hut for you to play
What's left now, is just dried clay
Did it happen on time was was it too late
If you hate me, deliver into my fate.
When i got nothing, twas one & all
When i gave everything , twas nothing at all.
Its okie to have feelings
No heart's worth stealing
From you i've walked, not a single mile
For me, i know , it would take a little while.
I wish somehow , i was just like you
So easily bored yet easily amused.
Its okie to be mean, i mean being selfish
Just another pisces but not another fish.
It was calm water and then it turned so cold
My heart ash-burnt , my soul forever sold.
There's something much deeper & something so steep
You didnt ever see it, you didnt ever peep
Its okie to have feelings
It can't get more appealing.
You never knew it, you were never clued
When the love was killed, i had been subdued.
From you & i , we try to stay away
Where have i got what can i say
What's left now is a mess
Atleast this, a big success
I dont cherish what i have got
You crossed the way like i had thought
It's not just a feeling, a reminiscence of some
Just know you're still welcome,But don't ever come!

Sand in My Shoes

Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed But I'm home now And things still look the same I think I'll leave it to tomorrow till unpack Try to forget for one more night That I'm back in my flat on the road Where the cars never stop going through the night To real life where I can't watch sunset I don't have time I don't have time I've still got sand in my shoes And I can't shake the thought of you I shake it all, forget you Why, why would I want to I know we said goodbye Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again Tomorrow's back to work down to sanitation should've run back ?? before I left here Try to Mama show her that I was happy here Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away From the road where the cars never stop going through the night To real life where I can't watch sunset And take my time Take up our time I wanna see you again Two weeks away, all it takes to change in time around by falling I walked away and never said that I wanted to see again I wanna see you again I wanna see you again

-DIDO

This song by Dido means alot more to me than it says!

Saturday!

Here i go again..working on a saturday wid nothing much to do..Cant really say that had a nice 2 days off..Drank so much the day before that couldnot walk straight all day yesterday..Man made liquor and God made hang-overs!!Why do i need to come to work anyway?Juhi wanted me to wear the new shirt that she gifted me and i've done that and all the compliments have failed to make me feel any good....Its like i want to be lazy and sad!There's nothing exciting around me except me, ofcourse!!I would bugger-off now..Bye & whatever